On my podcast and through this piece, I explore how solitude—often misunderstood—can become a powerful practice in finding peace within.
In today’s hyper-connected world, the idea of solitude is often viewed with suspicion or discomfort. However, solitude, when embraced intentionally and mindfully, can serve as a powerful tool for self-discovery. It’s essential, though, to distinguish solitude from loneliness, as they arise from very different experiences and emotional states.
Solitude isn’t simply about being physically alone. It’s about choosing to spend time with oneself in a reflective way. This intentional aloneness offers a chance to turn inward, to think more deeply, and to engage with who we are without external expectations. I spoke with Jiha Gulfam, a psychology student, who posed a very insightful question – “Who are you when you aren’t performing for someone else?” This kind of introspection and analysis of the self allows people to peel back the layers of social roles and expectations.
In moments of solitude—driven not by external circumstances but by an inner desire to connect with oneself—individuals can reflect on their experiences, values, and emotions. This process can help cultivate a nuanced understanding of one’s identity and establish emotional clarity. The COVID-19 pandemic, for instance, forced many people into solitude, and for some, it became a period of profound personal insight and self-discovery.
While solitude can be enriching, it is imperative to distinguish it from loneliness. Loneliness is not characterised by the absence of people but by a lack of meaningful social connection. You can be physically alone and not feel loneliness. Similarly, you can be physically surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Solitude is chosen and fulfilling; loneliness is imposed and distressing.
On my podcast, when asked if he could define solitude, Robert Kull said, “Solitude is a label we put on complex experience. So it’s always different. Each person’s solitude may well be different. Each time we spend in solitude can be different. So I don’t know that there’s any particular way of defining it.”
Gulfam pointed out that humans are inherently social creatures. Even the most introverted individuals need some level of connection to thrive. Prolonged isolation, especially when it is not voluntary, can lead to emotional depletion. She emphasises that while solitude can be beneficial, extending it beyond a certain point, especially without emotional or social support, can turn into loneliness, which is potentially harmful.
While solitude can be enriching, it is imperative to distinguish it from loneliness. Loneliness is not characterised by the absence of people but by a lack of meaningful social connection. You can be physically alone and not feel loneliness. Similarly, you can be physically surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Solitude is chosen and fulfilling; loneliness is imposed and distressing.
On my podcast, when asked if he could define solitude, Robert Kull said, “Solitude is a label we put on complex experience. So it’s always different. Each person’s solitude may well be different. Each time we spend in solitude can be different. So I don’t know that there’s any particular way of defining it.”
Gulfam pointed out that humans are inherently social creatures. Even the most introverted individuals need some level of connection to thrive. Prolonged isolation, especially when it is not voluntary, can lead to emotional depletion. She emphasises that while solitude can be beneficial, extending it beyond a certain point, especially without emotional or social support, can turn into loneliness, which is potentially harmful.
Discussions regarding solitude bring forth the question whether the society we live in disregards solitude as a healthy practice. Interestingly, there’s a growing cultural shift that embraces individuality and self-care, especially in more urbanised and Western-influenced societies. Contrary to the belief that society disregards solitude, the modern world, particularly within capitalist structures, increasingly values personal space and individual growth. However, this doesn’t negate the importance of finding balance. The most “untethered” version of oneself, the self free from performance, often emerges in solitude. Thus, in the midst of our social obligations, creating small sanctuaries of alone time can be deeply restorative.
As Maggie Hamilton expressed in the episode, “Both in terms of mainstream culture and new-age spirituality, we’re all seeking to be blissed out all the time — and that is not what life is about. Solitude enables us to start to come down from this, to get to know ourselves, and to form an intimate relationship with what’s going on around us.”
Discussions regarding solitude bring forth the question whether the society we live in disregards solitude as a healthy practice. Interestingly, there’s a growing cultural shift that embraces individuality and self-care, especially in more urbanised and Western-influenced societies. Contrary to the belief that society disregards solitude, the modern world, particularly within capitalist structures, increasingly values personal space and individual growth. However, this doesn’t negate the importance of finding balance. The most “untethered” version of oneself, the self free from performance, often emerges in solitude. Thus, in the midst of our social obligations, creating small sanctuaries of alone time can be deeply restorative.
As Maggie Hamilton expressed in the episode, “Both in terms of mainstream culture and new-age spirituality, we’re all seeking to be blissed out all the time — and that is not what life is about. Solitude enables us to start to come down from this, to get to know ourselves, and to form an intimate relationship with what’s going on around us.”
So how can one practise solitude in a way that promotes peace? The answer lies in intention and self-awareness. Solitude should be a conscious decision made to reconnect with oneself, not a reaction to rejection or isolation.
Journaling, mindfulness practices, and quiet walks are all effective tools to turn solitude into a nurturing experience. The act of physically decluttering one’s space can also serve as an emotional detox, helping to quiet the mental noise and restore a sense of calm. Moreover, engaging in creative pursuits, purely for personal satisfaction, not for validation or performance, can deepen this connection. These acts become rituals of self-expression and self-care.
For those who tend to feel lonely when alone, it’s important to recognise and honor those feelings. The goal is not to force isolation but to understand what kind of solitude, if any, nourishes you. Practicing solitude in small doses, combined with maintaining meaningful social bonds, creates a balanced lifestyle that supports both personal growth and emotional health.
Solitude, when approached with mindfulness, is a gift. It offers the space to hear one’s inner voice and to reconnect with the self, away from the demands of daily life. However, it must be practised with care and balance to avoid slipping into loneliness. Understanding the difference—and learning to harness the power of being alone—can be a transformative step toward lasting inner peace.
