Culture has a profound influence on us. It permeates into all corners of our lives. If there is one thing that can rise above this, it is the power of love- a universal language. In my episode ‘EQ in Love and Relationships’, psychologist Nishigandha Date talks about love, the emotional quotient or EQ which has a massive influence on our relationships and how culture impacts all of this. Here’s more.
Based on the environment that we grew up in, we, as individuals, express our emotions differently. Cultural norms also play a role in shaping whether we express ourselves with exuberant displays of affection or hesitate to share what we’re feeling; whether we choose direct confrontation or avoid conflict – these influences may even impact how we interpret facial expressions and body language. “Every culture is different and conditions our way of expression. This depends on a lot of factors like gender, religion, society that we grow up in. People tend to become the way they are because of how they have socialised. However, they can also unlearn these characteristics to fit their individuality,” says sociologist Nayanika Datta.
There are, however, certain fundamental human emotional needs and expressions that transcend individual backgrounds. Love, for example, is a force that unites people in the most profound ways, defying cultural norms. It emphasises the core ways in which people connect emotionally, highlighting common threads that bind us together as a global community.
Based on the environment that we grew up in, we, as individuals, express our emotions differently. Cultural norms also play a role in shaping whether we express ourselves with exuberant displays of affection or hesitate to share what we’re feeling; whether we choose direct confrontation or avoid conflict – these influences may even impact how we interpret facial expressions and body language. “Every culture is different and conditions our way of expression. This depends on a lot of factors like gender, religion, society that we grow up in. People tend to become the way they are because of how they have socialised. However, they can also unlearn these characteristics to fit their individuality,” says sociologist Nayanika Datta.
There are, however, certain fundamental human emotional needs and expressions that transcend individual backgrounds. Love, for example, is a force that unites people in the most profound ways, defying cultural norms. It emphasises the core ways in which people connect emotionally, highlighting common threads that bind us together as a global community.
But why is it important for us to recognise these emotions? Psychologist Nishigandha Date explains the importance of recognising your emotions beautifully on my podcast. She says, “Unless and until you are aware [of] your own emotions and know how to manage [them], it becomes very difficult to be able to understand or perceive other people’s emotions. If we can understand another person’s emotions, we can be empathetic towards that person, and that leads to a better understanding, and better communication. We are more motivated to form these connections and have a positive relationship with them.”
“The giving of love is an education in itself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
It was based on this universal expression that renowned American author and marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman came up with the concept of “Five Love Languages.” The idea of “Universal Love Languages” broadens this concept to encompass more universal and cross-cultural aspects of emotional connection. It recognises that certain ways of expressing and understanding love are shared across cultures and apply to various types of relationships, including friendships, family bonds, and even interactions within diverse communities.
“Basically, whatever we lacked in our childhood- in the age from 0 to 7 years, is what becomes our love language. Maybe, if as a child you felt ignored or didn’t receive thoughtful gifts, your love language becomes giving and receiving gifts,” says counsellor Pinky Bajaj.
“The giving of love is an education in itself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
It was based on this universal expression that renowned American author and marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman came up with the concept of “Five Love Languages.” The idea of “Universal Love Languages” broadens this concept to encompass more universal and cross-cultural aspects of emotional connection. It recognises that certain ways of expressing and understanding love are shared across cultures and apply to various types of relationships, including friendships, family bonds, and even interactions within diverse communities.
“Basically, whatever we lacked in our childhood- in the age from 0 to 7 years, is what becomes our love language. Maybe, if as a child you felt ignored or didn’t receive thoughtful gifts, your love language becomes giving and receiving gifts,” says counsellor Pinky Bajaj.
Bridging hearts across cultures
The concept of love languages transcends linguistic and cultural barriers. These universal expressions of affection are innate, shedding light on our profound human need for connection and understanding. They are:
Words of Affirmation:
Words wield power, both to heal and to harm. Across various cultures, words of encouragement, validation, and genuine compliments stand out as significant tokens of love and appreciation. They resonate deep within, often leaving a lasting impression that nurtures the soul.
Acts of Service:
Love often manifests in our actions. The timeless phrase, “actions speak louder than words,” epitomises the essence of this love language. Through tangible acts of service, we silently communicate our commitment, care, and dedication, fortifying the foundation of trust and understanding in relationships.
Physical Touch:
Touch is primal and profoundly human. Through touches—be it a warm hug, a comforting pat, or an affectionate caress—we bridge emotional distances. The universal nature of touch, reinforced by the release of oxytocin, cements its role as a key love language, fostering deep emotional bonds.
Quality Time:
With the ticking clock and the whirlwind pace of life, making time for loved ones has become a deliberate act of love. Immersing in shared experiences, actively engaging in conversations, or just basking in each other’s presence, undivided attention remains a cherished gesture of affection worldwide.
Gifting:
Throughout history, gift-giving has stood as a testament to love, respect, and appreciation. From tokens of gratitude to grand presents, it’s the intention and emotion behind the gift that imprints on the heart, making it a universal gesture of love.
Navigating these love languages provides invaluable insights into the intricacies of human emotions. Recognising and respecting them allows us to traverse cultural nuances seamlessly, celebrating the unity in our shared expressions of love.
